I was looking to know how the mind and emotions work. But I found the best lesson for marriages and relationships. It’s the XYZ approach from Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman: When sharing about an uncomfortable or annoying situation, instead of attacking the spouse, point out the situation. And say something like, When you did X, it made me feel Y. I would have preferred Z. Always make it about the situation, not the person. And if it works for marriages, it works at the workplace too.