This is gonna sound bitter, but hey. I take my whisky neat. Why has it become a thing that people must use social media to give commencement speeches about every · fucking · thing in their life? To be clear, I have nothing against you soaring through your personal growth in a permanent state of child-like wonder like the absolute Peter Pan you are, learning profound wisdoms from every new shape of eye floater you’ve rubbed into your retina. Be you, king. But holy hell, why has it become the rite of passage for every clown promoting something to share daily life lessons on social media? A daily, unstoppable firehose of something that should by definition… take a while. I pooped today. Time to post a commencement speech on LinkedIn about prolonged gratitude, the importance of self-care, and the lessons learned from the humble act of defecation. You live a mindful life full of meditative, self-reflective bragging in public. You are followed by young hustle porn fiends thinking mistakenly that munching your ego-waffle is exactly the inspiration they need to make something of themselves. Perhaps another thought leader like you is standing by with their thumb up, ready to assist. You are truly blessed. I get it, some hard-earned lessons are actually worth sharing, but that’s not what’s happening. You must squeeze sharable lessons out of everything, performatively inflating the significance of everything you do, in order to properly demonstrate your brand. We’re all convinced now to cargo cult this trash exposition. A trojan horse made of trite, unearned clichés, with your sales goals hiding inside. Nobody will buy your shit if you don’t play this tragedy of a game. I hope this fad will die out. It’s inane, cringe, and a mockery of all the real self growth people try to do in private. Perhaps the world would be a better place if we could all be a little more selective, set the bar a little bit higher.